There is hope.  Resources for veterans and their families:

BOOKS

• "Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Returning Soldiers and Their Families"
  by Keith Armstrong, Suzanne Best & Paula Domenici (2006).
  
  
• "Surviving Deployment: A Guide for Military Families" by Karen M. Pavlicin (2003).
  
  
• "Helping Children Cope with the Challenges of War and Terrorism" by Annette M. LaGreca
  Available for download at http://www.7-dippity.com/other/UWA_war_book.pdf

WEBSITES

• National Center for PTSD
  
  
• S.A.F.E. Program. Support and Family Education: Mental Health Facts for Families. An 18-session curriculum on PTSD
  
  
• When the Letdown Doesn't Let Up" and "How to Get Back to 'Normal' by the National Mental Health Association

FOR KIDS

• Deployment Kids and Operation Purple. Free summer camps for military kids, through National Military Family Association.
  
  
• Talk, Listen, Connect: Helping Families During Military Deployment.   Sesame Street DVD, free to active duty personnel through Military OneSource -- (800) 342-9647 or at http://www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc